Tears of the World

So open my eyes, and open my heart

And grant me the gift of Your grieving

And awaken in me the compassion to weep

Just one of the tears of the world

—“Tears of the World,” by Michael Card

That prayer has been echoing in my heart this week. Last night, our AfterWORD group met to reflect on Sunday’s theme and message, “When a Loved One Dies,” (message begins at 32:25) in our Living with Loss series. One among us asked a poignant question: Is there a lesson in every loss? I must admit that I struggled to answer. Does every loss happen just to teach us something? I chafe at that idea. There is something in the idea that dangerously places us in the center — taken to its extreme, their death really becomes about me. And, at least in my heart, a lesson assumes a teacher, and I don’t want to lay blame at God’s feet for our grief. Or, in other words, I don’t believe that God causes every loss we experience.

But upon further reflection, I don’t think this is actually what was being asked.

Maybe we ask the question in another way: “Can something be learned from every loss?” Or perhaps, “Can we grow from every loss we experience?” Ultimately, “Can I grow from this loss?” can only be answered by the one grieving — and answering it may itself be part of the long, uneven journey of grief.  I can only answer for myself. There are depths of grief I do not know, and others have experienced losses I simply cannot imagine.

So, let me speak only for myself. Recently, a few parishioners have suggested that my own recent experience of grief will make me a better pastor. I believe that’s possible. I hope it is true. The first significant grief I remember as an adult was the death of my grandmother when our daughter was only two weeks old. Mamu’s death broke my heart, but I count that breaking as a gift, because my heart had become hard. It was in my grief over her death that I reclaimed a sense of empathy I had misplaced and sorely needed. And, though not always successful, I have tried to cultivate empathy in my life ever since.

If there is something that can emerge from loss, I wonder if it is not a deeper capacity for empathy and compassion.

There is a hauntingly beautiful song by Michael Card, “Tears for the World” (lyrics here), that speaks of the call to empathy. Card sings of the vast grief carried in the world, and of God’s own grieving through the person of Jesus. He asks how it can be that with so much loss around us, “my own eyes are dry.” And then comes the chorus—a prayer, really—a plea for empathy:

So open my eyes, and open my heart

And grant me the gift of Your grieving

And awaken in me the compassion to weep

Just one of the tears of the world.

Compassion — literally, to suffer with.

In Jesus’ life, and especially on the Cross, God suffers with us. And by that gift we are healed. And by sharing that gift — offering our compassion, suffering with others — the world itself may begin to heal.

This compassion does not stop with our own private grief. It widens our hearts. I grieve the deaths of Alex Pretti and Renee Nicole Good. I also grieve other deaths. According to the Officer Down Memorial Page, six law enforcement officers have lost their lives so far this year.  According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 826 gun deaths already this year. I do not know all their names, but I seek to grieve each one. I believe God grieves the injuries done to families, communities, and our shared life by this violence.

I do not know how we turn from the violence so prevalent in our society, but I believe any turning must begin at least with the prayer,

“Open my eyes, and open my heart. And grant me the gift of God’s grieving.”

If you are grieving a loss in your life today, may God be with you.

And if you are shedding “just one of the tears of the world,” may you know that God is at work through you.

Blessings to you all.

Pastor Jeff

PS: if you are grieving a loss in your life or the losses in our world, and you have a music service like Spotify or iTunes, I recommend listening to Michael Card’s album, The Hidden Face of God.